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just the lowest i have ever felt
a_slower_speed
remembering dates and skipping through years and colors. math equations to go along with photographs, sifting through the dust. just one word sends a jolt to the mid-section. nothing could ever be as it was, it's just as if it never was. memory is the most deceptive mistress, mistrust this.

things taking the place of other things. how can they occupy my mind? how can sound conjure memory so directly, so distinctly? maybe it's not really, maybe its not really anything, but maybe it's not really nothing. how can songs be so seasonal? how can this soundtrack make me remember meaning? (in a place that no longer exists) the sound of snow falling and black and white, being cold out and warm inside. i wish i could remember what song was playing when i asked you to get back in the car.

it's never worth worrying. no one cares because i've been gone too long. i shut off. dropped out. let's get drunk and forget why we wish we didn't exist.

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